Tua's date
by Iwannagetitwrite
Summary: Tua has a date and asks Kallus for advice. other one shots included.
1. tua's date

_For all we know this might have happened. This was just for fun. Please review._

"Agent Kallus," Minister Tua's voice came from the communication console. "could you come to my office. I want your advice on something."

Kallus rolled his eyes, something he would only do alone. He moved his chair, straitened his uniform and knocked on her door. "come in!" he entered her office. His jaw dropped.

Minister Tua was wearing a slinky black dress. A beautiful slimming one. The only thing that ruined the image was Tua herself, wandering in circles and wringing her hands. He quickly composed himself as if all was normal. "yes, minister?" she looked at him, searching for answers to, as of yet asked, questions. "Kallus, thank you. I need your advice, you see, I am going on a date with a man named Dorin Jans. He's nice, I've talked to him a few times. Yesterday he asked me one a... a date and I said yes and I wanted someone's opinion on what I should wear but I thought I should get a man's opinion because they would be more objective but I can't ask one of the stormtroopers because they are paid to be nice and I don't want to ask the inquisitor because he is scary and Tarkin won't care so I just want to know, how do I look?"

It took all Kallus's training to not stare at her. "do you have anything else?" she looked hurt. "what? Is there something wrong with it?" he forced himself to stare at her ear. "no, but perhaps you could wear something less revealing." she blushed, "perhaps, I do have two other dresses. I'll try those on and see if they will work." she shoos him out. "I'll tell you when you can come in."

he waits in his office, trying to not think about the dress. The minister is going on a date with someone else. All she's asking you to do is be honest. A minute later she called him back. This time she was wearing a green business suit. "try on the next one. This is not something you wear to a date." he faces the door but pauses, "where is this date happening?" she smiles, "a nice restaurant and if all goes well, dancing." he nods and leaves.

The next dress was a pretty red shin length with white flowers. "this is your first date with him, correct?" she nods, "the dress is perfect, but you need to do something with your hair." she pats her hair and looks in a mirror. She bushes it and puts it in a sensible bun. "well?" he faces her towards the mirror again. Yanks out the hair band and re-brushes her hair. As he braids it, he states, "he should be fine, the only thing in his records are three speeding tickets." she looks at his reflection. "oh, good. Nothing to worry about." she smiles, "where did you learn to do this?" he smirks, "rope tying." "oh. Well, thank you Agent Kallus." he bows and leaves. She left five minutes later. Kallus continued working on late night paperwork.

Four hour later Kallus packed up for home. As he passed Tua's house he noticed a noise. He identified it as her crying. He sighed, and rang her doorbell. The crying stopped and Tua answered. Her makeup was either running or smeared. She sniffles, "yes, what is it?" "are you all right?" her lip quivers, "yes, I'm fine." he looks at her with disbelief, "would you like a handkerchief?" "I'm fine, I can take care of myself." he turns to leave, "if you say so, minister. Good night." she watches him go four steps before speaking, "would you like to come in?" he turns back, "are you sure?" she nods vigorously. "I don't want to be alone."

he stayed to hear he tale of woe. She made tea and sat on the couch. "Dorin was nice until this lady walked up claiming to be his girlfriend." she sniffed, "then he took her outside and didn't come back!" now she was crying a waterfall. Kallus sighed and sat beside her. She soaked his shirt with tears for ten minutes. Then she moved so as to lie down on his lap and soak it. She finally stopped crying after fie more minutes. It took five more after that for him to notice she was asleep. He scooped her up and carried her to her room. Laid her on the bed, covered her with a blanket and left her house. He looked at his clothes and wondered how in the universe such a small person could hold that much water.

 _Was this cute or what? Thanks for reading._


	2. attack of the fans

_Just for fun! Enjoy!_

Zeb was the first to wake up that fateful morning. He wandered into the kitchen and grabbed some fruit to munch on. In the middle of eating his ear flickered in response to a noise. He got up and looked outside but didn't see anything. Until movement caught his eye. He went back in to grab his bo-rifle and came back out. He searched for the source and found a girl of all things. Hiding behind a barrel. "eh, who are you and what do you want?" she looked at him with innocent eyes, with a slight hint of crazy, "Cindy, I was just looking for Kanan. Is he up yet?" Zeb looks at her, "no." she smiles, "that's okay, I'll just wait for him." just then another girl yells, "it's Zeb! he's over here!" a whole hoard of fan girls jump out of their hiding places, "i want him!" "he's mine!" "can I have his fur?!" "my muscly boo!" "must have Zebbbb!" Zeb runs in fear, by mid afternoon he was high in the hills with 1,500 fan girls on his tail with no sign of stopping.

Kanan walked out of the ship to do some training with Bendu. He stopped because of a disturbance in the force. Someone stepped in front of him. "hi, I'm Cindy, I've been waiting for you." Kanan backed up and tried to run from her but another one was in every direction. "can I have your mask?" turn left, "will you ever kiss Hera?" right, "can you teach me the force?" back, "you are so much cuter in person!" down, "can I have your boots?" as the group closed in on him Hera came out. The girls all gasped. "what's going on here?" she asked, Kanan attempted to wiggle free. Unfortunately someone started singing 'fixer upper' from _frozen_. Ropes appear from the middle of the crowd and no one escaped.

Sabine came out to look for everyone, "where are you?" she walked a few feet and heard the remains of 'fixer upper'. She shook her head and walked into a bunch of fans. "can you be my friend?" a girl pipes up. "blow something up!" another yells. "can I take you to prom?" an nerdy boy shouts. "are you Satine's daughter?" still another asked. Sabine decided to use her gun to answer their questions as they tried to crush her. She found it harder to hit the cute boys than all the rest. Finally she ran to find cover.

Chopper grumbled because everyone had disappeared. He opens the hull door to check. Once outside a group of girls see him. They run over, "oh, he's so cute!" chopper enjoyed the attention until he noticed a screwdriver, and a wrench. "can I have a piece?" he freaks out and speeds back inside.

Ezra stretched and climbed down from his bed. He walked out of his room and noticed everyone else was gone. He poked his head in the cockpit to see chopper shaking in a corner. "hey chop. What's wrong? Where is everyone?" chopper beeped in response, pointing out the door. "okay, I'll check outside." chopper panics. Ezra rolls his eyes and heads outside. He opens the exit door to see 3,000 fan girls. Five or so turn their heads to see him. "Ezra! There he is, get him!" all of them charge to the door as Ezra slams it shut. He runs to the cockpit and huddles in Hera's chair. Suddenly a fan girl lands on the window, "can I have some of your hair?" another one, "will you marry me?" a third, "you are soooo cute! Can I have your autograph?" more appeared, "me" "no, me" "he's mine!" he run to his room and hides under Zeb's bed. "please let this be a bad dream." he said as the ship rocked.

Meanwhile on the imperial ship,

Thrawn calmly walked to his office to see it overrun with fan girls. "he's here!" one squealed. Out of fear and/or respect every one of them came no closer than five feet. "he's so gorgeous." "I want to touch him." "the perfect shade of blue." Thrawn found them annoying and had his troopers remove them from the ship.

Agent Kallus was walking calmly down the hall but something felt off. Suddenly a million fan girls pops out of every available entry point. He was swamped in seconds. He swam through the mess in a panic, trying to escape. He finally reaches a empty closet with most of his mutton chops intact. He locks himself in until everything died down.

A few storm troopers stood around hoping for a fan girl or two. "I feel underrated."

Commander Price opened her office to see a small group of men in strange clothes. "who are you and what are you doing here?" the leader stands, "we are your fan club. We are here to be with you." she thinks, "fine you can stay." she sits down in her chair that one held out for her. And for the rest of the day was spent listening to "you are hot." and "yes mam." she was enjoying this until Kallus' hoard passed by.

A few hours later all the fans were gone. Kallus looks at Thrawn, "where are they?" He smiles, "I told them Darth Vader was on Coruscant."

"So Kanan, how did you make them leave so quickly?" Sabine asked. "i didn't. Micky mouse took pity and took them to Lothal to watch the season four trailer."

 _ha ha ha! Thanks for reading! Review!_


	3. birthday 1

_A birthday fic. Please enjoy._

"Kallus?" Minister Tua carefully enters Agent Kallus' office.

"yes minister?" he looks up from his paperwork. "what do you want?"

"well, I was looking at my calendar this morning and it reminded me that in your file it says that your birthday is in a few days and I was wondering if you wanted anything in particular?" she asked, half-excited half-nervous. He rests his chin on his fist, "no, but thank you for the caring anyway minister." she makes a pouting face, "why not? It's your birthday." Kallus sighs, "I don't do birthdays." Tua seemed shocked, "who doesn't 'do' birthdays? Besides it doesn't have to be much. Just one present. Please!" she begs. He shakes his head and rolls his eyes, "fine, just one, something practical." she opens her mouth to argue but he cuts her off, "nothing over the top or fancy. And just one."

she sighs, "alright, just one." she walks happily out.

A few days later...

"Kallus could you come to my office please?" Tua says over the com. He walks across the hall and enters to see Tua and the Inquisitor standing inside. The tall pau'an stood to the side with a creepy smile. Tua was bouncing on her feet and shoves a wrapped box in Kallus' hands. "happy birthday! Open it!" he begins to unwrap it but then he looks at the Inquisitor, "why are you here?" Tua looks about to burst.

"I just wanted to watch." his smile stayed. Kallus continued until he figured out what it was. He holds it up, another box. "what is this?" she bounces, "do you like it? It's a puzzle box from Alderaan. You said something practical and not over the top but it is a little fancy. You see it will work out your brain so that..." he cuts her off, "thank you minister." she stammers, "y-your welcome. Would you like a cupcake?" he looks at them, "one is fine." he takes a caf flavored one with red icing and walks out. The Inquisitor stands to go, "I was expecting something else." she looked at him confused. As usual he left without explaining.

 _You like? One or two more to come._


	4. birthday 2

_Number two._

Tua nervously tapped on the Inquisitor's shoulder, "may I ask you something?" he turns to look at her, "yes?" she stammers, "w-w-well your birthday is in a few weeks and I wanted to know if you wanted anything? A party perhaps?" he thinks, smiling he says, "yes I do, the Jedi's head on a silver platter."

she gulps, "I'm not sure how to arrange that. Are you sure you don't want anything else?" he nods, "yes, I'm sure." she turns to leave. "actually, I would like some bantha jerky. I haven't had any in a while."

"okay."

 _yeah, it's short. Sorry but you have to wait._


	5. birthday 3

_Yay, third and last one! Enjoy._

"where are you going with that?" the Inquisitor asked Aresko and Grint. They were struggling with a heavy box. "just getting a birthday present for Minister Tua." Aresko explained as he put his side down, "the last time no one got her anything she was really upset for a whole week. Mascara all over the place." Grint looked like he was trying not to seem like his foot was crushed. The Inquisitor waved his hand to lift the box for him to remove his injured foot. He shot him a grateful smile as he tried getting feeling back in it. They lifted it again and left, going as fast as they helplessly could.

Minister Tua wandered into her office and saw no presents lying around. She sits and sew a box under her desk. Excitedly, she pulls it out. The tag said 'from Kallus you're welcome minister'. Just before she tore the wrappings to shreds, Aresko and Grint carry in a huge box. "set it down right there, thank you. What is it?" she walked over and inspected it, practically bouncing with excitement. "just a little (huff) something for (pant) you." Grint tells her. "can I open it now?!" Tua asked. Aresko nods. She tears into it. It was revealed to be a new refrigerator. She hugs both of them, "thank you! I've needed one for ages! But, couldn't you have left this at my house?" Grint glares at Aresko and mouths 'I told you so'. Aresko smiles and calls a few troopers to take it there. They both left her to guess Kallus's gift. Just before she got the tape off the Inquisitor walked in. "oh, hello. Do you need something?" she smiled. He tossed her a package. "here is a gift for you." she opened it, "a scarf. How.. thoughtful. You know winter is awhile away, right? Either way, it's lovely" he shrugs and leaves.

Kallus walks in to inquire about his gift for her. He notices that it is still mostly wrapped. "are you going to open it?" she nods, "I was just waiting for you. Well, everyone else was here to see me open theirs." the wrapping was gone before she even finished her sentence. She tried to tear open the box with her fingers until he pushed the 'open' button. She giggled sheepishly then pulled out a blue armored shirt thing. "what is this?"

"it's a specially designed armor. If you are planing to follow me into hostile situations the least you could do is have some protection."

"wait, you're letting me tag along?"

"no, I just can't stop you."

"oh, thank you." Tua puts it on, "perfect. Wait, how do you know my size?"

"your tag sticks out sometimes."

"oh. Thank you, it's perfect." she attempts to squeeze the breath out of him with a hug.

"you're welcome minister." he says and returns to his office.

 _That wasn't so bad. I really think something like that would have helped her a little. Please review!_


	6. note to self, no karaoke

_This was for fun, hope you enjoy! Please review._

Kallus was banging his head on the wall. Why was it so difficult to catch those rebels? It was a flawless plan! He continues for a few minutes before noticing that some of the banging was coming from the door. He stops, hopes he doesn't have a bruise, and answers the knock. Minister Tua stood there with irritatingly large eyes. "Agent Kallus, I was wondering if you would like to do something fun? Seeing as to how today went."

he looks as her suspiciously, "and what did you have in mind?"

she smiles, "so you're in?"

his face becomes impassive, "not unless you tell me."

she pouts, "then it won't be a surprise."

he sighs, "fine, do I need to bring anything?"

she shakes her head, "just money. Oh, and wear this blindfold."

he relents and is walked to a speeder. The inquisitor was sitting in the back seat. He smiles creepily, all his teeth showing. "what do you want?" Kallus asked harshly. "I overheard the minister talking to you and decided to tag along. Hope you don't mind." he explained. Tua looked worried but shrugged it off, "no, but I only have one blindfold. Can you keep your eyes closed for the trip?" he shrugged, "no, but I promise not to tell." she agrees to let him, despite Kallus' twitch, the smile returned.

After driving for half an hour, the inquisitor began snickering. "what?" Tua asks. "he will never agree to this." she looks at him, "to what?" he smiles and points at their destination. She smiles back, "if he says no, I'll make him." he continues snickering.

They parked and Tua led Kallus into the establishment. He smelled alcohol and heard someone screeching loudly and people booing. Recognition forced him into panic mode. He struggled against them, twisting himself away. The inquisitor force lifted him into a seat. "you're not getting away that easily, Agent Kallus." Kallus sulked as they pulled off his blindfold and they all order drinks.

"so, why don't you like coming here?" Tua asks, sipping her drink. "I don't want to talk about it." Kallus nursed his brandy. The inquisitor just smiled and sipped quietly. The next karaoke singer walked on stage. Half way into _danger zone_ the audience started pelting him with rotten food, supplied by the owner. The inquisitor was offered a decayed fruit. He nailed the singer in the head as he runs off stage in haste. Tua stands up, "well, if you are so scared, I, am going to sing." Kallus turns to watch, "break a leg." she smiles at that. He saw a storm trooper hide his leftovers when he recognized the minister.

Tua sang a rendition of _holding out for a hero_ that was only slightly off key. Not enough the get her offstage but enough to be pelted at by the inquisitor. "thank you, thank you!" she called to the audience as they applauded. She sat at her drink and scowled at the inquisitor. "I dare you to sing." he smiles, "I am not that desperate to be bombarded by garbage." she turns, "So Kallus, what did you think?" he sighs, "not bad." he sips. "so, can you sing?" she asks. Another sigh, "yes, but no, I am not going to." she puts her hands on her hips, "prove it."

"no"

"please"

"no"

"please"

"no"

"please"

"you will sing." the inquisitor said waving his hand in Kallus' face.

"no"

"please"

"no"

"please"

"fine, as long as you stop looking at me like that." he said, pointing at the inquisitor's creepy smile. He walked up and passed the storm trooper who was trying to hide. The inquisitor handed Tua a bowl of old soup. She pushed it further down the counter with a nauseous look. Kallus carefully selected a song, picked up the microphone, and sang a fantastic version of _citizen soldier._

Tua's mouth hung open for the entire performance. Applause exploded as it ended, Kallus sat next to a still gaping Tua. She snapped it shut, "if you can sing that well, why didn't you want to?" Kallus shoots him a dirty look as the inquisitor laughs into his drink. "that is my business." the inquisitor smiles, "I will show you later." Kallus hisses, "don't you dare."

later, the inquisitor pulls up an old news feed on a data pad. Tua watched as a news lady explained. "a young imperial officer was sent to the hospital today after he was mobbed by a hoard of girls." the scene showed a young Kallus on a stretcher headed towards an ambulance. "lieutenant Kallus of the ISB, was attacked by a rather large group of excited females after singing _sound of silence._ He and a group of coworkers had decided to go to a karaoke bar while off duty. It was reported that his voice was so good, that it nearly caused a fatal attraction." it ended there. Tua put her hand over her mouth, "oh, now I feel very sorry for him." Kallus walked in to see that his secret was out. He sighed, "now you know." Tua hugged him, "I'm so sorry, I didn't know." she let go, "well, I have to get home now, see you tomorrow Kallus." she closes the door behind her. He turns to the inquisitor, "I'm not sure if I hate you right now or not." the inquisitor smiles.

 _I could hear them singing those in my head, tell me what songs you think they should have sung. Thank you._


	7. a day at the fair

_Another one, Please review!_

"please?"

"no, I have work to do."

"well I think you need a break."

"no, now go away."

"please? There might be rebels."

"I doubt it." Kallus said trying to type on his data pad.

"come on. One of them is from Lothal and they all like taking risks." Tua said throwing logic.

"yes, which means that if they do come most, if not all, will attack a base with lowered defenses."

"or they would be trying to have a fun time at the fair."

"unlikely."

Tua huffs, "fine. How about you set up patrols where you think we need them and come with me?"

"or I could manage the patrols and get work done. You can contact me if any rebels show up."

"no, I am not leaving until you come with me!"

"suit yourself."

she throws her hand up in frustration and heads to her office. He could still hear her complaining about his stubbornness after the door closed.

A few minutes later he knocks on her door. "come in." her expression changed from a pout to a hopeful smugness. "did you change your mind Agent Kallus?"

"no. I just came to inform you that as Minister you need to be there."

she slumps, "do I have to?"

"yes." he turns to leave as a question comes to mind. "why?"

"why what?"

"why do you want me to come when you yourself do not want to?"

"well... last year I was judging something onstage when I got knocked into the dunking booth."

"why do you want me to come?"

"you never do anything normal, like read a book or go swimming or anything like that. Also, if I fall in the dunking booth again you could make everyone stop laughing at me with a look."

"so you want me to come based on misconceptions and your dignity's protection?"

"when you put it that way... sorry. Um, when was the last time you read a book, and what was it?"

"that is not your concern."

"please?"

"if I come with you will you not ask again?"

"yes." she smiles, "is it that embarrassing?"

he glares at her, she zips her lips.

"how can you be enjoying yourself when you've got your head stuck in a data pad?" she says from behind a stuffed mandalorian guard doll.

Kallus looks around, doesn't see any rebels, and continues typing. "you told me to come with you, not to enjoy myself."

"fine." she reaches over and takes it from him, "I am ordering you to have fun, or would you rather carry my prizes?"

he sighs, "no, Minister." he walks up to the dunking booth, plunks down a few credits, and hits the target. She pouts at him, "really? You, being immature?" he hands her a pink loth cat and she smiles.

"there, I had fun, now may I have it back?"

"no. not until you smile."

his face strained under the pressure of a forced smile.

"don't hurt yourself. Let it come naturally."

he stops.

Ezra and Sabine were munching on candied fruit when Hera poked them, "look." they peek past a magician's tent to see Kallus throwing darts at a booth. Minister Tua was almost completely covered by prizes. They snickered at the sight. Aresko walks over with an empty crate into which she unloads. She argues with Kallus, then gives up and hands him a data pad. She walks up onto the stage and announces the desert judging. She eats a bite of the first cake and almost throws up. Sabine decides to be trouble and tosses a light grenade into a pie. It explodes, sending pastries everywhere. Everyone scrambled out of the way while she laughed. Kallus checked the Minister over before looking for the cause. He scanned the fleeing crowd. Tua tried to calm everyone by announcing that she was fine. He spots Ezra running behind the tents. He chases him for thirty feet before grabbing a hold of his collar. Ezra squirmed, trying to get away. "let go!"

"why did you do that?"

"it was her idea, she did it."

Kallus turns and gets shocked in the ribs by the mandalorian girl. He drops Ezra who bolts. He orders a squad of troopers to chase them. He walks back to Tua. She smirks at him, "you have jam in your mutton chops." she tries to wipe it away but he pushes her hand away. "it was the mandalorian from the ghost crew. I sent troopers after them but I doubt they will catch them. Everyone seems unharmed so I would advise getting cleaned up. I don't think they'll be back so everything may continue." he walked away. "where are you going?"

"I've had my fun, now I am going back to work."

She sighs and looks at Aresko and Grint, who is eating pie off of his shorter comrade's hat. she sighs and tells them to help.

 _Did ya like? Reviews welcome._


	8. children of the empire

_Hey everybody! One for the Inquisitor, please review!_

It had been a long day at work. Chasing Jedi is not an easy task. Tarkin was no help, questioning his capabilities. The Inquisitor wondered what a Grand Moff would taste like. The Minister kind of reminded him of a small and very naive child. Annoying yet amusing. Agent Kallus apparently saw him as competition. Most likely because the leader of the rebel group is a Jedi, understandable. It did seem like petty jealousy, somewhat childish for an agent of the empire, the Inquisitor chuckled to himself. He stretched and lay down to sleep. The empire is full of children, nonetheless, the rebellion will fall.

The Inquisitor walked into work to see blaster marks and data pads everywhere. Squeals of joy sounded through the halls. A tiny storm trooper jumped into his path and roared at him. It giggled at its game and ran off. He walked further, afraid of what he might find. He followed the sound of blaster fire. In the lunch room he found a hundred miniature storm troopers all shooting each other, not a single one hit their target. He left and ran to the minister's office. The only sign that anyone was there was flower petals coming from behind the desk. He walked around to see her doing "he loves me, he loves me not". She stopped and smiled at him, then squeaked in fear and hid under the desk when he smiled back. He got up and went to agent Kallus' office. Of course, the agent was now rather small. He was seated at his computer typing gibberish. Tarkin walked in, looking perfectly normal. "Agent Kallus, Inquisitor, the rebels have decided to attack outside of one of our bases. Take them down while I go cover myself with butter." he left the room and young Kallus ran out at full speed. They arrived at the battle to see the rebels fighting tiny troopers and winning. The Inquisitor set his sights on the Jedi. Suddenly Kallus yelled "Dibs!" and he was trampled by an army too large, yet short, for the ship.

"Hello Kallus. Did you know the Inquisitor called in sick today?" Tua asks as she sits across from him during lunch. Kallus looked surprised, "I didn't think calling in sick was an option. What did he say?"

"that we give him a headache. Why would he say that?"

"I don't know."

 _did this work or not, I'm not sure. Please review._

 _Okay, should I do one about Tua's dirty grandma?_


	9. up and down

_Okay, no dirty granny. That's fine, I wasn't sure if I wanted to anyway._

 _Sorry, I don't celebrate Halloween. Don't hate me._

 _Not sure if Halloween exists in star wars._

 _Whatever. On to the story!_

Kallus stacked his completed paperwork, again. On days like this he wished the rebels would attack. With nothing to do and out of complete boredom is why he installed that camera in lift #5, and hacked its system. He poked his head out of his door and checked for anyone who would be displeased if they caught him. He sat back down and brought up the program. The elevator was empty for another minute. Two troopers walked in and hit the forth floor button. He waited a moment before stopping them between floors. The troopers looked about and pushed the button again. Nothing. One tried to call a technician but Kallus blocked the transmission. The other one speaks, "don't worry, this has happened to me like three times already. We'll be fine. The great elevator god will lets us go if we sing."

"elevator god? Really? Are you crazy?"

"no, trust me, it totally works. Watch." he starts singing in a terrible baritone. After two minutes of ear-wrenching music Kallus let them go.

"see?"

"yeah, I guess he hates your singing too."

"hey!" they walked out and Kallus waited for his next victim.

Kallus minimized the program as Minister Tua entered his office. "Agent Kallus, I am really bored. Can you think of anything to do?" he looked at her with a straight face when some kissing noises came from his computer. "what is that?" she brought the program back up to see two troopers making out in the elevator. She looked at him with shock, "are you spying on everybody?" he sighs, "no, I am relieving my own boredom." he then explains what he's doing.

"okay, wait, did you do that to me?"

"no. I only have access to number 5."

"are you just going to let them do that?"

"no." he presses a key and the whole thing drops. The couple inside screams and the young man pees his suit. Kallus slows it down before letting it hit bottom. The girl glares at her boyfriend then stomps away yelling sarcastically, "my hero!"

Tua unglued her hand from her chest and smacked him, "that wasn't very nice. They could have died!"

"I had control. Those two will get back together by the end of the day."

she huffs and leaves. He waits.

The inquisitor walks in, "The Minister told me what you're up to. Truthfully I wouldn't normally care but Tarkin is on his way up and after the way he insulted us I figured you wouldn't mind some vengeance?" Kallus spotted him entering the lift, "fine, you may ruin his day while I get myself an alibi." he leaves and the inquisitor sits down. He plays with the controls, making it go up and down until Tarkin loses it. The Grand Moff attacks the doors and screams horrendous threats at the makers of the lift. It stops and he falls to the floor. An officer looks at him, "are you alright sir?" Tarkin stands and fixes himself, "no, get a technician. That elevator is faulty." "yes sir."

Tarkin stomps into Kallus' office and drops the camera on the desk. "do you know anything about this Agent?"

"where was it?"

"in the malfunctioning elevator. Someone hacked the controls and it was traced to your office. Why would that be?" he asked, looking him in the eyes.

"because I installed it. Spies and rebels are more likely to communicate in a secure location. The elevator would be that if they are not able to leave." he states matter-of-factly.

"of course. now you are to never mess with the controls again."

"yes sir."

"who was it that nearly killed me with said elevator an hour ago?"

"an hour ago I was drinking caf with the minister in the lunch room. I have a suspicion but I will look into it."

"very well. Inform me when you do know." he leaves.

Kallus deletes the program and sighs.

 _What ya think? Reviews welcome anytime._


	10. pop pop pop

_another one, hope you like._

Pop...pop...pop...pop.

"Minister."

Tua jumped, "oh! Kallus, I didn't see you there. Do you need something?"

"no. what are you doing?" he asks, pointing at the bubble wrap in her hands.

Pop. "oh, I found this in one of the shipping crates, it's really fun. Would you like some?"

"it looks rather childish. Perhaps you should have left it where it belonged."

she mumbles quietly, "to be grown up you have to be childish sometimes."

"what?" he asks turning back to her. She repeats herself, "I don't know where I heard that. Here, try to pop just one, bet you can't."

he sighs, "fine." he takes it and pops one.

"satisfying, right?"

"no."

"you are an amazing liar, I bet you will be popping a whole roll by the end of the day."

"no, I won't. I also would not advise playing with that when Tarkin arrives."

"of course not."

he leaves the room. Pop...pop...pop.

The inquisitor walked in to her office. Pop...pop...pop...pop. "Agent Kallus was right. You are still playing with it. Tarkin will arrive in ten minutes. We must get moving."

"yes we should. Thank you for telling me." she stands and walks to the door. Pop...pop...pop. "put that down."

"just one more."

he force grabs it and crushes it, popping all of them.

"you are no fun."

"I know."

 _ta da! Reviews welcome!_


	11. SPICY!

_Okay, season 4. can't wait! Here's a look at Kallus on the base._

Ezra smiles at his evil plan. It was genius. "hey, Kallus. What are you up to?"

The newly minted rebel turns to face him, "I am studying failed rebel strategies. Mon Mothma asked for my advice."

"okay, want some berries?" the boy asks, holding out a bowl. Kallus indicates him to put it down. He leaves it on the table and hides behind a crate. Ezra waited ten minutes before Zeb came by and peeked at Kallus' work. His hand reached down and collected a handful of berries which immediately went in his mouth. It took him a half second to respond. The Lasat spat them out and sped away, looking for water. Ezra burst out laughing then stops to see Kallus smirking at him. The former agent returns to his job and proceeds to eat the fruit. "I knew you were up to something. If you must know, I rather like spicy."

Ezra stalks away, defeated.

 _So, you want an Ezra x Sabine story? Okay, I see them more as bro and sis but we'll see._


	12. I brushed

_I've been thinking about it and this is all I could come up with..._

Ezra carefully placed his borrowed candles on the table. Perfection. Now to get Sabine to say yes. He knocks on her door. The sound of spraying paint stops as she opens it. "what is it?"

"would you like to enjoy a romantic dinner for two?"

"with you?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

"yeah, I've got candles and I brushed."

"sorry Ezra, but no thank you. You're cute and all but I prefer older guys."

Ezra's face saddens, "okay."

she closes the door and hears him make a whimpering noise. She sighs and opens the door, "okay, okay, just this once."

"yes!"

"and only once."

"we'll see."

she rolls her eyes and follows.

Chopper beeps "dinner is served" at them. He leaves the plates of waffles on the edge of the table. They slide them closer to themselves. "you look beautiful tonight."

"and you look like Ezra."

"I'm trying to be romantic."

she takes a bite out of dinner and coughs, she pulls out a purple hair. "now I know who our cook is."

"I'll fix that right away. Chef!"

Zeb walks in wearing an apron and a scowl, "what?"

"Sabine found a hair in her food."

"oh, she did did she? Then pick it out and quit complaining, the next course is burnin'" he lumbers back to the kitchen. Ezra smiles sheepishly, "sorry about that." she holds back her smile. "honestly, this is what I expected."

"are you upset?"

"nah, this is sweet."

Zeb's voice cuts through the air, "get back here you heap of spare parts!" Chopper drives through with the spatula and angry Lasat in tow. "I need that you scrap pile!"

"are you going to eat that?"

"help yourself, I'm gonna help Zeb." Sabine gets up and chases.

"so... how did you like dinner?"

she walks to her room, "it was sweet."

"any chance you want to do this again?"

"no." she smiles as the door closes.

 _Sweet right? Ezra and Sabine are more brother and sister despite his crush in the beginning. By the way, would any of you ship Kallus/ Ketsu? I think they might work._


	13. Onyo and Kallus sitting in a tree

_I looked it up and I can't send star wars my new theory. I'll leave it on the bottom._

"how many cups is that?"

Kallus looks up to see Ketsu leaning on his door. He looks at his cup of caf with red eyes, "eleven, I think."

she holds up hers, "ninth." she sits in the chair across from him, putting her mud smeared boots on his desk. He reaches over and pushes them off.

He sighs, "what do you want?"

"just thinking."

"what about?"

"we need a break. I know the war's still on but if people like us don't stop for a minute then we'll crack."

he rubs his face, "what did you have in mind?"

"I don't know, a date?" she sips casually.

He stares, "what?"

"a date, just to relax and clear our heads." she pauses, "you have been on a date before, right?"

"not officially."

"okay, how about... tomorrow night, say eight, nice restaurant and nice clothes. Does that work for you?"

"Maybe."

"the universe isn't going to collapse if we forget about it for five minutes."

"you'd be surprised." he sips, "fine. I will see you then."

"put that down and get some sleep. You really need it." she leaves the room, "oh, and I'll pick you up outside the ghost."

"that's fine." he drops the data pad and heads out.

"got something on your mind?" Rex asks Kallus the next morning.

"yes but not something you can help with."

"alright, what is it then?"

"miss Onyo asked me on a date last night."

"and?"

"I said yes. I'm just afraid that it will go horribly wrong."

"how?"

"the empire decides to attack, I act like a droid or an idiot or both then she stops talking to me and she tells Sabine who tells Hera and they all stop talking to me. Then she kicks me off the team. Or the war ends without me and I go insane with nothing to do."

Rex couldn't hold it in any longer, He laughs so hard he couldn't breathe. Kallus' irritated expression only made it worse. Ezra pokes his head in to see what was going on. "are you okay in here?"

"we're fine." Kallus snaps.

"okay, okay. I'll get Zeb to find out."

Rex sucks in a breath, "not Zeb, get... Hera." his breathing relaxes.

Ezra runs off to get Kanan.

"you think I'm exaggerating don't you?"

"when you let your imagination run away it seems to get pretty far."

"alright. I will attempt to think rationally."

after a few seconds Hera enters and they explain, "so this is about your date with Ketsu."

"yes."

she turns to Rex, "would you like to leave for a few minutes?"

"ha ha, nope."

"than could you guard the door?"

"that I will." he leaves the room revealing a glimpse of Ezra with his ear to the door. "shoo."

"what are you really afraid of?"

"I'm... not sure."

"what happened the last time you went on a date?"

"I... she... can Rex please go away?"

"Rex, cover your ears! Go ahead." they both sit.

"I was on a training mission and we... broke regulation. We left the group to be alone and... she... she... died." he breaks into tears.

She pulls him in a hug, allowing him to cry as she silently cried for Kanan. He pulls away and wipes his eyes, "I miss her."

"I know."

"we look terrible."

she laughs, "yes we do. Do you feel better?"

"I don't care if I am one of the universe's symbols of human manliness, I needed that."

she laughs, "of course you did." they calm down, "do you want me to finish the pep talk or can you figure it out from here?"

"I can take it from here."

"okay. Sabine will call after they pick the restaurant so you can figure out what to wear, okay?"

"that's fine."

she walks out the door and Rex pops back in, "'universe's symbols of human manliness?'"

"someone left a gossip page lying around with my picture on the front and that was the caption."

Rex laughs.

Nice suit, guns allowed no questions asked. Not overly expensive. Good. Kallus set a small blaster in a shoulder holster and walks out of the docking bay. Hera waves, "good luck."

he nods back and stands outside for Ketsu. She arrives a moment later. She steps out of the speeder and walks up to him. "your mouth is open."

"sorry. You're pretty."

"wow, Sabine was right. The dress does work. Come on, the reservations are for eight, get in."

he follows, absolutely not regretting any of this.

 _Part two coming soon._

 _Okay, theory time... Kallus and Ketsu are Rey's parents. She is the only other human female around his age that he (and we) are at least familiar with and they would be an awesome couple._

 _I checked the time frame and by 'a new hope' he is 32 years old. If he is her father than he would be about 46-48 years old. If he is stuck on larasan for about 6 years then this is entirely possible. I will write this as another fanfic eventually._

 _Please review!_


	14. S, H, O, O, T, I, N, G

_Please review. Btw, did anyone else know that Ketsu was voiced by Zoe from Firefly?_

"what are you thinking? You haven't said a word since you got in." Ketsu asked as she made a left turn.

"I'm just worried that I'm going to mess this up." Kallus admits.

"if you mess this up I will let you know."

"thank you."

she rolls her eyes in response, "at least you're honest. Most guy's I date aren't."

"what happen on your last date?"

"I knocked three of his teeth out."

"ah." he goes silent.

They arrive, sit, and eat. Half way through he worked up a sentence, "I believe we should be talking but I'm not sure what about."

"just relax, otherwise you just defeated the whole purpose. Okay, small talk."

"how's the weather?"

"we suck at this."

he giggles slightly then looks embarrassed.

She laughs, reliving the tension. A couple look at them from a few tables away, then return to their own conversation. "so, did you have any friends, growing up?"

"a few."

"what was she like?"

"I had more than one."

"technically."

"fine, she was a twillek who was basically my opposite. she was the second oldest of five, disorganized, playful, and opinionated." he smirks, "If I go home she will hug, smack, say 'I told you so', and then kiss me. in that order."

"kiss you?"

"maybe, depending on how happy she is to see me."

"ah. When did you meet?"

"our first day of school, I..." he stops as a pair of storm troopers walked in and began looking for someone. The man of the couple who had noticed them waved. The troopers walked over and the lady points them out. Kallus stands, "time to go."

she leaves the money and they exited the building as fast they could without making a scene. The troopers followed them out. Once in the crowd they attempt to hide, unsuccessfully. They dash for the speeder, driving away. The troopers shoot at them before climbing on their own bikes. "do you have any weapons on board?"

"under the seat. I'll get us away from any populated areas."

he looks and pulls out a blaster rifle. He aims at one of them and fires, the one on the left crashes in a downward spiral. Kallus fought for balance as she veered right. More troopers joined the chase. He fires, taking down several of the newcomers. "sit down!" she yells at him. He obeys as they swerve through construction work. A few of the troopers go down as they fly into poles, pipes, and beams. When they had one last remaining trooper they fly free of the maze. "I have an idea, drop me off there and lead him in a circle." Kallus jumps out and hides behind a large rock formation, putting the rifle on stun. He aims at the base of the trooper's helmet. The trooper falls off and its bike explodes at the base of a pillar. Ketsu drives back, "how is he?"

"he can talk."

"good."

"you have a cut over your eye." he walks over to her and pulls out a tiny med kit. He dabs her injury.

"yeah, I felt the shrapnel." she laughs, "you know, I was wrong."

"about what?" he opens a band-aid.

"we didn't need to go on a date, here is where we relax. Getting in fights and blowing stuff up."

"something normal." he places it on her scratch.

"for us at least." she smiles then looks at the trooper, "do you want to interrogate or keep watch?"

"I'll interrogate."

a few minutes later they finish giving Hera the details of an imperial base nearby. She laughs, "honestly, this is what I thought would happen. Just our lot in life I guess. Good work, see you when you get back."

"will do." he turns it off. The trooper had passed out after spilling the beans so Kallus and Ketsu were now, technically, alone. He sits next to her on the ground, silently staring at the stars.

"when I was a kid it felt like the stars would whisper to me saying 'come on, it'll be fun'. did they say anything to you?" Ketsu asks after half an hour.

"not until I was twelve. when father told me I was adopted, I found that I was not from Coruscant. I saw the stars as a million locked doors, each one holding an answer to my question."

she guesses, "who are you?"

"yes."

"did you figure it out?"

"it's giving me a headache."

she laughs loudly.

"that's not helping."

"sorry." still laughing.

He waits for her to stop, "I still haven't found them, I stopped looking a long time ago."

"no you didn't." she pokes his head, "your subconscious is still looking."

they fall silent as he processes this. Ten minutes later, "I have a confession to make." Ketsu looks at him. He raises an eyebrow. "I never would have asked you out if Hondo hadn't made a bet."

"what bet?"

"he said that I couldn't get you on a date. I think he suckered me into it."

"how so?"

"you know how he is, a lying manipulator who pretends not to care about everyone around him. I told him I thought you were cute and he made the bet."

"how long ago was this?"

"four days ago."

"ah."

"are you glad he did?"

"admittedly, yes."

she smiles and the silence reigned comfortably. This time Kallus broke it, "you think I'm cute?"

"your butt is."

he cheeks flush (the ones on his face). He looks down to check, cracking her up.

"take my word for it, come here." she pulls him down into a kiss.

His heart thumps so loudly in his chest he couldn't hear her laughing at his dazed expression. She leans on him as she stares at the sky. The silence returned with a vengeance, lulling them to sleep just an hour later.

"so, what happened?" Zeb asks upon their return.

"none of your business." Kallus retorts.

"is that lipstick?" Rex asks.

"what if it is?"

"come on, what happened? You were out til sunrise and you've got lipstick." Zeb points out.

"fine, I will give the condensed version. Nice dinner, storm troopers chase us, we beat them, interrogated one, told Hera, talked on and off, one kiss, she fell asleep on me, watched sunrise and came back."

"that's it?" Zeb complained.

"yes, I'm going to bed." he stomps off.

"I think that was better than what he was afraid of." Rex sips a caf.

"do tell."

Rex tells.

 _How was that? Romantic, yes, no?_

 _Ezra showed up in the first half because I forgot he wasn't there. The twillek friend of young Kallus is my OC from another fanfic. It's a star wars rebels/clone wars one called 'origins of a man'._

 _Please review!_


	15. so did I

_Tarkin is my least favorite character in Star wars. If you couldn't tell._

Tarkin looks down at Minister Tua, "I knew Jedi, not as fairy tales but as flesh and blood."

a stoom trooper raises his hand. Tarkin glares at him, "what is it?"

"um, wasn't the inquisitor a Jedi temple guard?"

the inquisitor smirks, Tarkin snaps, "be quiet."

the trooper shuts up. Tua raises her hand, "um, wasn't the clone wars only twelve years ago? I mean, Kallus here is twenty seven and grew up on Corusant..." she continues to mumble under his glare.

Tarkin turns his gaze to Kallus, "do you have something to add, Agent?"

"nothing besides the fact that when I was thirteen four padawans asked for my autograph."

Tarkin growls, "insubordination will not be tolerated." he walks off on his heel.

"why did four padawans want your autograph?" Tua asks Kallus over lunch.

"I was the best sky ball player on Corusant."

"I see."she nibbles on a fruit, "do you get the feeling that Tarkin is arrogant?"

"I know he is, he is also our superior officer."

"that stinks."

 _I really don't like Tarkin._


	16. 50 match

_This came about because I noticed that Kallus looks like Satine with their hair down. Coincidence? Maybe. But I also noticed that the only people in rebels who knew Satine never met Kallus. (Vader doesn't count, he wouldn't have cared.)_

"thank you for all your help." Bo-katan says, carrying a box.

"you're welcome, we knew you needed supplies." Hera picks up another. "the rest should be here soon."

a ship enters the atmosphere and is cleared for landing. It lands next to the Ghost. The bay doors open and Rex comes out holding a box. He yells back, "you might have won if you hadn't left your left open!"

Zeb's voice scoffs, "you're one to talk. You went down faster then I did."

"I told you, melee isn't my strong suit." Rex counters.

"we had him outnumbered!" Zeb argues, carrying a larger box.

"and I still won." Kallus says, pushing a anti-gravity cart with two large boxes.

Zeb scowls at him. Kallus ignores it and pushes ahead.

Hera spots them, "over here boys!" she waves them over.

They put the crates where she indicates. "Bo-katan, this is Rex, Zeb, and Kallus."

Rex shakes her hand, Zeb smiles at her, and Kallus nods, standing at attention. She looks at Kallus oddly, like she found him familiar. the others notice and look back and forth at them, making him uncomfortable.

"may I talk to him alone?" she asks Hera.

"go ahead, we'll go get the rest of the shipment." Hera walks off with the clone and the Lasat.

He stands perfectly still, watching as she studies him.

"you look like my sister." she finally says.

He blinks, confused, "ma'am?"

"mainly the hair but you look a little like her. Were you born on Corusant?"

"no ma'am."

"where?"

he shuffles his feet, "I don't know. I'm... adopted."

"I see. How old are you?" she tilts her head.

"approximately twenty-nine."

she does some silent math, "it adds up. Would you like to see some pictures of her?"

he nods, "if only to compare."

"good. Let's get more boxes first."

an hour later she lets him into the old palace. He looks at her, "who was your sister?"

"Duchess Satine of Mandalore."

he stops, "what exactly are your suspicions?"

"after her death I read a letter that said when Stine was sixteen she had a baby boy off world that no one knew about. she wrote that she sent it away to keep death watch from getting their hands on him. Less then a year after, she lost contact with the guard who was caring for him. He never told her where they were. You're the closest candidate so far. Then again, I've been too busy to look."

she opens the door for the royal records. She pulls out a box and shows him an image of a regal young lady. Hair down, dress flowing, smiling. His eyes go wide, "give me a minute." he wanders away, mind reeling. He comes back, "I don't have her eyes."

"look behind you."

he sees a picture of a man with gold eyes.

"it runs in the family."

he looks back, "oh, is her DNA on file?"

"yes."

"may I have it?"

"depends, what if it doesn't match?" she crosses her arms.

"I wouldn't be the first time."

"I see. Let's check then." she walks off.

Kallus stares at the files, 50% match. Zeb walks in, laughing. He stops when he noticed his friend. "what are you up to?" he scoops up the data-pad, "it's a match. Wait... this is yours. Alright, what's going on?"

"the other person is my mother."

Zeb looks, "Duchess Stine Kryze. Duchess? Wait.. that means... you're a duke?"

"and the rightful ruler of Mandalore." Kallus sighs.

Zeb mutters quietly, "the warrior and a duke. How come you get all the cool stuff?"

Kallus looks at him, "what?"

"nothin'. What are you gonna do about this?"

Kallus stands, "the right thing." he walks off the ship, taking the pad.

"here. It's a match."

Bo-katan scans it, "do you want to be a duke?"

"no. my place is fighting the war out there. I know nothing about your people, making me unqualified to lead them. You on the other hand have been leading them for years. I will not take that responsibility from you. Therefore, I am rejecting my title."

she raises an eyebrow, "is that all?"

"no, I am not worthy of such a role." he looks at the floor.

She shrugs, "we've had worse, but I see your point. In that case I accept. But, is there anything you do want?"

"tell me about her." he sits.

"first of all, she was a pacifist." she begins.

 _What did you think? Please review._

 _p.s. I'm writing 'a life unlived'. Basically, if Tua didn't die. Some one asked and I have finally delivered._


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